YOU MAY BE A YUPPIE IF ....
Yes, I know that the term yuppie apparently started out as an acronym for young upwardly-mobile professional .
Yet there is an ideology...a mood...a sensibility... that though it may be commonly found among many people with professional jobs , it is NOT limited to that demographic . Nor does every person with a professional job have that ideology ...that mood...that sensibility ...that would be called the yuppie outlook . Actually, I have met people who do have professional jobs as businesssmen in companies that do NOT have the yuppie outlook . and I've even met some people apparently who did NOT have business sorts of jobs that do have the yuppie outlook .
To put it more simply , NOT all people who have professional business executive jobs are members of the yuppie subculture .
That having been said the opinions of the yuppie sub-culture and the opinions that even partially defend the yuppie sub-culture deserve NOT one iota of respect . Please understand I do NOT advocate agressive violence against yuppies . If one is in terrible physical pain help to make them comfortable. If one is trying to committ suicide...talk them out of it. and pray for their souls .
BUT NEVER RESPECT OR EVEN COMING CLOSE TO RESPECTING a totally worthless yuppie-minded opinion !
Before we get to the clever ...funny.. 'you may be a yuppie' statements there is a preliminary ..or two ..
Here is a precising definition of the yuppie subculture :
Yuppie--A subculture characterized by a liking --or at least a partial support for trendy pop culture fads , a liking for conspicuous consumption status seeking/status symbols , shallowness: an attitude characterized by at best disregard for , and at worst, dislike for spirtituality, intellectual pursuits (excepting trendy dilettante-like bad imitations of something like spirituality and/or intellectualism ...like one might overhear at a cocktail party ,) a disregard for ...and in worse cases, a dislike for, motifs of quaintness /wholesomeness , and concurrent with that liking for /or an acceptance of dysfunctionality and sordidnesss in human relations, a liking for morbidity/death , a liking for trendy pop psychology, and a love of gossip (including celebrity gossip) , and quite in harmony with all the above: an ethos of opinion- respecting relativism/postmodernism that doesn't like absolute standards .
Before I get to the You may be a yuppie if...I thought it best to present first a you probably are a yuppie if section .
YOU QUITE PROBABLY ARE A YUPPIE IF :
If you speak AS IF words like 'idealism', 'utopian' , 'romanticize' are sort of dirty words ...or worse still...you claim that a little idealism is allright but you claim that idealism can be taken too far ... or that extreme idealism is some sort of "sophmoric" phase to grow out of when one has more "mature" life experience--- then you quite probably are a yuppie . (I recall my 1992 girlfriend's mother telling me over the phone that her daughter Beth was idealistic with a weird note of worry that a parent with a normal outlook might have if their child had an eating disorder or had joined a street gang ! Weird.. Yuppie thinking is WEIRD, eh !)
If you identify strongly with the characters in the Lawrence Kasdan movie the Big Chill or the 1980's t.v. series 'Thirtysomething' , you probably are a yuppie .
If you are wont to use the phrase 'mooted out' then you probably are a yuppie !
If you like that horrendous nightmare supergroup/ the ur-exemplars of corporate rock muzak : Fleetwood Mac , then you probably are a yuppie .
IF you like the CNN NANCY GRACE show then you quite probably are a yuppie !
If you have ever bought a psychology book that recommended anyone "coming out of their comfort zone", or having a "lifestyle makeover" and agreed with such notions you quite probably are a yuppie .
If you are the particular sort of southerner that has a frumpy demeanor , dour , pursed lip expression that is reminiscent of CNN's NANCY GRACE, and especially if you like pop psychology and its trendy buzzphrases ...then you probably are a yuppie .
Concurrent with the previous sentence, if while working for a goverment agency ..or some related facility (such as hospital) you are wont to interrupt clients and visitors , give them a response before they are done asking the question ...and behave in a generally chintzy and hoity-toity manner than you...quite probably are a yuppie !
YOU *MAY* BE A YUPPIE IF
If you don't like it when people stereotype the yuppie sub-culture , then...you may be a yuppie . (Of course the person who doesn't like that may be what's called an ambivalent sophisticate, which is in some ways similar to a yuppie but not exactly the same. Both are posmodernist in outlook )
If you see someone who is rather thin and are quick to think that they are probably anorexic , then you may be a yuppie .
If you say something like, "I haven't heard that word yuppie since the 80's ", then you may be a yuppie .
You *don't* like "preachy", one-sided efforts at social reform/ changing the world . (Of course the ambivalent sophisticates also have that trait ).
If you like reality t.v. or partially like it , then...you may be a yuppie .
If you like knowing what designer brands the celebrities are wearing at the Oscars, Emmys , and similar fiascos . (regardless of whether you talk about that subject much) if you like it you may be a yuppie )
If you like the show 'Sex In The City' , then...you may be a yuppie .
If you like one-night stands or wild kinky sex, then you may be a yuppie .
If you are pro-choice in regard to abortion , then you may be...a yuppie !
If you are a postmodernist pro-choice liberal (especially if you like chat rooms ) or a neoconservative (especially one that is pro-choice) then you may be a yuppie .
If you support global trade agreements like GATT, NAFTA and so on because you think the United States must have a competitive "standard of living" in the Global Market place ...then you may be...yes indeed, a yuppie !
If you like the company Monsanto and think that the complaints against genetically modified food and artificial bovine growth hormone are "alarmism" , and "extremism" ..then you may be a yuppie .
If you like banal liberal trash as popularized by James Carville or equally banal conservative trash, as popularized by Rush Limbaugh or James Carville's wife, then you may be a yuppie .
If you like pseudo-Christian lurid entertainment that pretends to be bible study (but is really just pop culture entertainment) like the LEFT BEHIND BOOK AND PENDING MOVIE SERIES ...then you may be ....a yuppie...yup !
If you would prefer to watch a 21 century news show with flickering, zig zag hypermedia imagery ..to some old passe style of News Reporting like they had in the Walter Cronkite era...then you may be a yuppie .
If you like "sexy" computers , or I-pods (especially "sexy" I-pods ) then you may be one of those people that are pissing their life away in a postmodernist way aka a yuppie !
If you have ever said "that's true for you" but not "true for them" (or any similar sort of postmodernist statement ) then you may be a yuppie .
If you like the Situation Room on CNN, with Wolf Blitzer and Ari Velcher, than you maybe a yuppie .
If you say statements like, "that's not my problem" , or "that's not our problem" .. then you may be a yup yup yuppie .
If you like the music of the singer Jewel or the book of poems "A Night Without Armor" then you may be a yuppie .
If in the course of some debate discussion , you get tired of elaborate arguments and don't want to analyze everything to the Nth degree and so you respond by saying "whatever" as a one-word reply ...then you might be a yup-pie !
If you liked the show Dawson's Creek ...and don't like people being "judgemental" towards the opinions they don't like ...but wish people would look at issues from another so-called "perspective" ...then you might be a yuppie .
If you like to use the phrase ..."think outside the box" or "another perspective" and, moreover, you use those buzz phrases with approval of those phrases, the you may be a (how do we say this in your country ?...ah yes...a yuppie .!)
If you like lateral thinking (at least a little bit) then you may be a YUPPIE !
If you say, "everything has an element of some truth" or "everything has it's good points and its bad points" then you might be (drumroll .....) a yuppie .
If you think dysfunctionality is just part of life and that the ideal of a quaint wholesome family is ...just some romantic notion that people should get over and learn to "get real" ...then you may be a yuppie.
If you would be worried if your kids never had any sibling rivalry ..and would expect them to have a little sibling rivalry as just part of life ...then you may be a ...a ....a........a ....yuppie .
If you like the sight of male genitals and similar hideous, ugly objects, then you may be a yuppie .
If you are "conflicted" you might be a yuppie ..or a similar pomo .
If you tend to disagree with this present post to any extent , or say the ideas in this present post go overboard ..or say you worry about the ideas.. that some of the ideas in this present post are too extreme , or don't see the point in this present post ...THEN ...you might be (well to give you a hint ...the word starts with the letter 'y' )
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSTSCRIPT
Here's another "preachy" reminder ...alas the perennial epigram :
Contrary to popular opinion, there are NOT two or more sides to every issue !
