the summary is basically -Alice used to be a happy preppy little girl.Till her parents got divorced .From then on her life was a living heck.With her new Pagan step mom and real mom being real tough.Her mom was nice only when she wanted to be.Even when her mom was nice you could tell she was predending for Family court. This is just different parts - The Beginning "just,leave,leave now!” this kind of behavior was not unusual for Alice's mom.Mercedes.Her mom used to be abusive to her brother,Ed and sister Allie.Mercedes would hit Ed and pull allies hair and more. The memories still haunted her. This weekend her mother was extra mean.” I guess she's starting to give up the I love my kids act” Alice thought bitterly to her self as she left the house. This was the first time her mother had done this since alike ran away. Alice and her mom had problems but was forced by some court to spend every other weekend together. Quite the way she liked it except the fact that her dogs were barking. She dragged herself out of bed to get ready the heck she called school. In her life there were 4 horrible places. Her moms house, then school, her house and the bus. Before she knew it she was on the bus. The bus reeked of cigarette smoke and fat people sweat. Alice didn’t mind the cigarette smoke she kind of liked it. Alice was used to the smell of burning tobacco and paper what she did mind was the sweat .She could always tell if the person was fat from how bad it smelled. She settled into her normal seat. The seat was plastic and a blue green color. As she sat she started thinking of what people would label her today. She was label different every day.Goth,emo,punk,skater,and *****.There were 2 nice people on the bus Alex(girl) and "hoodie ninja".Alex was a wanna be “emo“. She was nice so Alice dealt with her wanna beness.Once The emo fad was over she could be alone. Maybe become a stoner like her dad. The bus ride passed faster than usual, so she was soon at school. As Alice walked though the seventh grade hall way a girl in some of her classes called "Hey Alice are you wearing makeup” Alice barely wore make up. Then on day from then on passed quickly, probably because Alice was half asleep. Alice decided to stay after instead face her horrible sister. Who didn’t care about anybody but herself. Her sisters name was Allie ,she had bright pink hair and heavy makeup. Allie was the kinda girl were you were either her friend or she made fun of you sometime you would be the lucky one were shi ignored you completely. She got some other people to stay after. While Alice was at "club” she walked in to the bathroom the girls she got to stay after were already there. When they noticed that she walked in they tried to make it sound like they were jokingly talking about her. Alice could tell that they were talking about her before she came in. It didn’t really upset her but if it did she could of hid it well. Nobody ever pays enough attention any way so it was always easy. After 3:15 When the “club was over she was walking around the school waiting for the late bus. There were 2 that could take her home one came at 3:15 and the other came at 4:15.When she returned outside to wait she found out that she had missed the first bus. She waited an hour for the next one. Alice had to wait with “shades” the “hall monitor” He got paid to make sure that kinds had a hall pass. Alice decided to go to the bathroom.“Emo”Jake whispered as she passed him. Jake and Alice used to be friends but then he turned jock and she stayed the same. Jake was short and had a little extra wieght.He had dark brown hair and brown eyes.” what did you say?” Alice half growled "nothing!” He replied. "sure run away cowerd!"She half shouted to him as he quickly walked away from her. .” I guess he has to hate me now?” Alice thought to her self. Alice started to think about ALL the things she hated about herself. “Alice We know whats been going on we found your journal .”Tori said trying to be a sympathetic good therapist. “So you had my parents look through my room?!?” “No, I would never have them break your privacy”Tori tried to Explain. “Then how did they get it!?!” “Your sister heard your cat billom his name is right, Well she heard him meowing and wanted to she if he was ok. She saw he had little water so she gave him some more. Such a good kid she is. Well she saw it open and well she saw the word cutting and well she wanted to know if you were so you could get help. So you two could try to not cut together. She might be a good influence on you. She’s been doing really well on not cutting.” Tori explained “What!?!Shes lying she was looking through my room, I always have it hidden!” Alice screamed. “The important thing is that we know now. I have already talked to your father and I and he have decided that it’s the best for you be hospitalized in Four Winds, Which is a very good mental hospital.”

Kinda reminds me of Jericho.
Maybe even Hadrian's

but not the Great.

To become a writer, I would suggest researching the phenomenon of the paragraph. You will find it indispensable in holding the attention of a read for longer than 30 seconds.

★TinaToxin★:

the summary is basically -Alice used to be a happy preppy little girl.Till her parents got divorced .From then on her life was a living heck.With her new Pagan step mom and real mom being real tough.Her mom was nice only when she wanted to be.Even when her mom was nice you could tell she was predending for Family court. This is just different parts - The Beginning "just,leave,leave now!” this kind of behavior was not unusual for Alice's mom.Mercedes.Her mom used to be abusive to her brother,Ed and sister Allie.Mercedes would hit Ed and pull allies hair and more. The memories still haunted her. This weekend her mother was extra mean.” I guess she's starting to give up the I love my kids act” Alice thought bitterly to her self as she left the house. This was the first time her mother had done this since alike ran away. Alice and her mom had problems but was forced by some court to spend every other weekend together. Quite the way she liked it except the fact that her dogs were barking. She dragged herself out of bed to get ready the heck she called school. In her life there were 4 horrible places. Her moms house, then school, her house and the bus. Before she knew it she was on the bus. The bus reeked of cigarette smoke and fat people sweat. Alice didn’t mind the cigarette smoke she kind of liked it. Alice was used to the smell of burning tobacco and paper what she did mind was the sweat .She could always tell if the person was fat from how bad it smelled. She settled into her normal seat. The seat was plastic and a blue green color. As she sat she started thinking of what people would label her today. She was label different every day.Goth,emo,punk,skater,and *****.There were 2 nice people on the bus Alex(girl) and "hoodie ninja".Alex was a wanna be “emo“. She was nice so Alice dealt with her wanna beness.Once The emo fad was over she could be alone. Maybe become a stoner like her dad. The bus ride passed faster than usual, so she was soon at school. As Alice walked though the seventh grade hall way a girl in some of her classes called "Hey Alice are you wearing makeup” Alice barely wore make up. Then on day from then on passed quickly, probably because Alice was half asleep. Alice decided to stay after instead face her horrible sister. Who didn’t care about anybody but herself. Her sisters name was Allie ,she had bright pink hair and heavy makeup. Allie was the kinda girl were you were either her friend or she made fun of you sometime you would be the lucky one were shi ignored you completely. She got some other people to stay after. While Alice was at "club” she walked in to the bathroom the girls she got to stay after were already there. When they noticed that she walked in they tried to make it sound like they were jokingly talking about her. Alice could tell that they were talking about her before she came in. It didn’t really upset her but if it did she could of hid it well. Nobody ever pays enough attention any way so it was always easy. After 3:15 When the “club was over she was walking around the school waiting for the late bus. There were 2 that could take her home one came at 3:15 and the other came at 4:15.When she returned outside to wait she found out that she had missed the first bus. She waited an hour for the next one. Alice had to wait with “shades” the “hall monitor” He got paid to make sure that kinds had a hall pass. Alice decided to go to the bathroom.“Emo”Jake whispered as she passed him. Jake and Alice used to be friends but then he turned jock and she stayed the same. Jake was short and had a little extra wieght.He had dark brown hair and brown eyes.” what did you say?” Alice half growled "nothing!” He replied. "sure run away cowerd!"She half shouted to him as he quickly walked away from her. .” I guess he has to hate me now?” Alice thought to her self. Alice started to think about ALL the things she hated about herself. “Alice We know whats been going on we found your journal .”Tori said trying to be a sympathetic good therapist. “So you had my parents look through my room?!?” “No, I would never have them break your privacy”Tori tried to Explain. “Then how did they get it!?!” “Your sister heard your cat billom his name is right, Well she heard him meowing and wanted to she if he was ok. She saw he had little water so she gave him some more. Such a good kid she is. Well she saw it open and well she saw the word cutting and well she wanted to know if you were so you could get help. So you two could try to not cut together. She might be a good influence on you. She’s been doing really well on not cutting.” Tori explained “What!?!Shes lying she was looking through my room, I always have it hidden!” Alice screamed. “The important thing is that we know now. I have already talked to your father and I and he have decided that it’s the best for you be hospitalized in Four Winds, Which is a very good mental hospital.”

When you wake up and the first thing you think about is writing, you're a writer. Until then, keep at it. Don't get put off. Read lots, write more, you are not quite there but you'll get there if you really want to. It's up to you.

Ay!, I stopped at pagan... formatting might help

That's not a story, nor a summary - those are just your mental jots.

You know... books and short stories about abuse, cutting, crazy mothers etc. etc. etc. are a dime a dozen. Have you read any of those? I would suggest you start by reading similar works already on the market. After reading your "story", I felt like I've already read it somewhere else a hundred times before. Keep writing, keep practicing and read, read, read. When you are ready, you'll bring a new voice and give new life to this particular subject. No, I'm not a writer. I am a reader. A writer better write in a way that keeps me interested or I'm not going to waste my money on their books, short stories, magazine articles etc.

you're young so you have plenty of time to work on this. you need to practice revealing character more naturally, without having your narrator come out and say it. the didactic voice, with the narrator describing the character, went out with the 19th century.

rather than tell us about your character, reveal your character by what she says, does, and does not say or do. that's really the art of the short story and creating character.

rahb:
you're young so you have plenty of time to work on this. you need to practice revealing character more naturally, without having your narrator come out and say it. the didactic voice, with the narrator describing the character, went out with the 19th century.

rather than tell us about your character, reveal your character by what she says, does, and does not say or do. that's really the art of the short story and creating character.

You are looking hotter than normal.

It scares me

I think it is a heartfelt concept. Would be interested to see how you actually wrote the story out instead of just the mental jots though.