How do you know when you've gotten to a fan base? This was posted over at a Michigan forum that I frequent. This is a rant by an angry PSU fan.



Pretty funny stuff....



----------------



99. Their bars. In a way, being 99th is not the least important thing to dislike. In a way, it stands out. Their bars suck. There was literally a fern at our table. And a hippie who didn't know there was game naked and playing guitar on the street. Not good naked either.



98-97. The two ridiculous "crowd's too loud" FLAGS weeny Todd Collins drew against us in 1993.



96. Todd Collins. C'mon, admit it -- you hated him too, Ganders.



95. The scene in the "Big Chill." Seeing Michigan anywhere can ruin anything -- even one of the greatest movies of all time.



94-87. The eight National Titles Michigan claims before the advent of the polls. By the way, about 40 other schools claim titles back then -- hell, we have two in the early 1910s. Hell, in one year they calim a "tie" for the nc with a 4-1 record.



86. Desmond Howard. Those of you who watch GameDay, you know.



85-74. Bo's 12 bowl losses. And this guy, God rest his soul, was a "great coach?"



73. Chris Webber. The guy basically was a pro the whole time he was in college. What happened to UM? Slap on the wrist. But FIU needs to lose eight scholies for struggling.



72. 1984 Holiday Bowl. Michigan served as the easiest pathot an NC when the "mighty" rodents were converted by the BYU Mormons. Or was it the Mormons beating the morons, based on their grad rate? Either way, nice job, Ganders.



71-36. The aforementioned slap on the wrist: UM's vacated 36 games in 1992-1993. I'm just glad that didn't require the destruction of the tape of the game, as the TimeOut should live forever as the enduring symbol of Michigan's commitment to academics.



35. Llyod Carr. Let's face, this guy just sucks. Not saying he doesn't have our number -- he clearly does -- but as a guy you'd ever want to talk to or have a beer with, he just flat out sucks.



34-32. Tom Brady's Super Bowl wins. Let's face it, no one outside of Boston really likes the Patriots. The head coach is a classless a-hole -- which is why Tom fits in there and why Bill is an honorary Gander.



31. September 10, 2005. A 17-10 loss at home to the Weiss led Irish started the latest "ND is the Greatest Everything" in the media all because they beat Michigan. Thanks guys -- and thanks for being the signature win that led to Jabba's new, forever contract. Cause that guy won't get annoying to watch.



30. September 24, 1994. Michigan pulls a double whammy. By losing, they make our victory over them a few weeks later less impressive and signature and costs us a share of the NC. In addition, it gives Colorado enough juice to vault the inferior (6.8 ypc) Salaam to the Heisman over Ki-Jana (7.8 ypc). Hail to the victors indeed.



29. Brian Greise. The damn love fest between his dad and Brian on air at the Rose Bowl was nauseating. Like any of us care. Share that special moment after work, Bob-o.



28. Touchdown Timmie. This from a guy with a career total 24 TDs. Yeah, call me T-Bone.



27. Dan Dierdorf. Seriously, we couldn't find an ex-athlete without a lisp?



26-24. The three ties Michigan rang up in 1992. They were cowed king of the sister kissers, which I hear isn't all that uncommon in the wilds of Gander land.



23. January 1, 1987. This one is for my Buckeye friends, and for those of us who just flat out don't like John Cooper. By losing to Cooper's ASU Sun Devils (Bo's 7th loss in 8 Rose Bowls), the Ganders gave the Buckeyes the only feasible basis for hiring John Cooper and then inflicting him on the rest of us for all time (Cooper is on air "talent" for Big Ten broadcasts -- thanks again guys, he could have been the Pac 10's problem).



22. The "Harvard of the Midwest" nonsense. Seriously, when there is a major controlled by the Athletic department and you STILL can't consistently graduate your athletes above the national average, well, that's not exactly academic excellence. And don't try "its too hard" crap, we all know better.



21. Tyrone Wheatly. After getting beat at home by the BEST offense of all time in 1994, a "tough guy" Ty picked on Bobby Engram in the tunnel. He backed down when Jeff Hartings stepped in. I guess he was enraged hearing Hail to the Victors and knowing that was the Lions.



20-19. The two seconds Llyod cried for in 2005. I am not saying we shouldn;t have strill made a play -- we should have. That said, the two seconds still bug me because NO COACH not named Weiss even gets close to getting two seconds put back on the clock at that moment. No one. That's why JoePa's line about the time limit for each coach at the Big Ten luncheon last year was so cool: "I only get three minutes -- that's three minutes and 2 seconds for you Llyod." Llyod was not amused.



18. Into Thin Air. If I had to hear one more time in 1997 about how the whole team read the book (well, those they bothered to teach to read, which, based on their grad rate means about half) and how that served as an inspiration I was going to get one of those pick axes tear up their then grass field. I don't care how you motivated your guys. They cashed their checks and, for the first time in 50 years, closed out. Woho.



17. Inches, that is. Otherwise known as the width of the seats at UM stadium.



16. Losses, that is. For all the talk that we didn't force the rest of the league to get better, here is a startling stat: before 1997, Michigan lost 16, count 'em 16 games in the four years from 1993-1996, including 3 a year in league play. Then they read Into Thin Air...



15. Tom Brady. Nuff said.



14. Hail to the Victors. Is there a more pretentious fight song? This is a program that literally missed the modern era of the game in terms of relevance in National Championship games. They have one title, one untied undefeated season in the last 50 years.



13. The 2006 OSU game. This one makes the list because it captures the essence of the arrogance of the place -- the Ganders brought their own cops. I know C-Bus is rough, but do thee idiots actually think the C-Bus police are just ghoing to let Buckeye fans kill them? Hell, its not like they had too -- after a 4th loss in "The Game" in 5 years most Ganders just took care o

it themselves.



12. Ann Arbor. First of all, its roughly the worst drive this side of Notre Dame. It is dull as hell, and on top of that you have to get close to Detriot -- newsflash, Detroit sucks too. Once there, the aforementioned bars are like fern bars better suited for old folks happy hours than football fans. Its just better to stay in East Lansing, hang out with MSU fans, the drive back to Ann Arbor.



11. Overrated. In terms of final poll position versus pre-season poll position, Michigan has been the most overrated team in the country over the last 10 years. Which is why in 1997 Michigan could get a piece of the NC, and why in 1994 we couldn't.



10. Michigan Sportswriters. Yeah, the ones who voted Nebraska #1 over us. You know, because they REALLY felt it in their hearts. It had nothing to do with us showing up the Ganders after they claimed for the previous 50 years that it was too tough a league to run the table (we were, by the way, the first team in the league to do it in 25 years at the time).



9. Dick "Go Big Blue" Honig. It'd be like letting Scott Paterno officiate a PSU game.



8. The Big House, Part II. The tailgating at the Big House is like my grandmother's nursing home at dinner -- lots of grumpy, annoyed people eating bad food and not really sure if they should be enjoying themselves.



7. October 12, 2002. The catch that wasn't. This game in part is why we have instant replay. The chunk of turf Tony Johnson's foot tore up on his "incomplete" pass, a full two feet in bounds, is why they went back to fake grass.



6. The 36% African American athlete graduation rate they "boasted" in January of 2004.



5. Madonna. Yup, she's a Gander -- 1978-79. She upheld the grad rate admirably.



4. The Big House, Part 3. Here is the Michigan arrogance in a nutshell: they actually have a policy to have the most seats (largest is a misnomer) of any college stadium in the country. You know what they say about people overcompensating...



3. The Unabomber. See, this is what happens when a brilliant mind spends 4 years in Ann Arbor.



2. Dick Gephart. Big Dick would have been one, but...



1. Those UGLY A$$ helmets. First of all, they are Princeton's design. Secondly, the original reason for painting them was that teams often couldn;t be told apart at a distance -- not really a problem today. Finally, they are so ugly they actually give rise to violent thoughts even amongst your alumni. See #2.

--------------



I agree with 27 and 33 as they made me laugh out loud. I would have expected this from a OSU fan rather than a PSU fan but this guy shows pure hatred. I was shocked to not see the streak of 8 losses to Michigan not on the list. Guess he let that one go.

99 problems and a bitch aint one...

30. September 24, 1994. Michigan pulls a double whammy. By losing, they make our victory over them a few weeks later less impressive and signature and costs us a share of the NC. In addition, it gives Colorado enough juice to vault the inferior (6.8 ypc) Salaam to the Heisman over Ki-Jana (7.8 ypc). Hail to the victors indeed.











Saint.....I'm sorry....But......



I quit reading after this stupid fuck of a PSU fan (or whoever he think he is wrote the above)



Apparently this fan ya mentioned is bitching that Carter didn't win the Heisman although Carter averaged a yard more per than Salaam did???? Did this "fan" forget to mention he got most of those yards against INFERIOR competiton compared to what Colorado faced in 1994????



First off.....If Colorado played the schedule Penn State did then Salaam might have been close to 3, 000 yards (sarcasm on the 3000 yards folks).....I mean seriously......Minnesota, Rutgers, Temple, Indiana, Northwestern, Michigan State???? SHIT!!!!!!! Michigan basically WAS PSU's schedule that year. By the way....Colorado played against 8 ranked teams and won 7 of those.....SEVEN!!!!!!!





And PSU wonders why they didn't deserve a shot at the title in 1994??????



Second.....Salaam was one of 4 Division I NCAA Players (at the time) to eclipse 2000 yards....Did Carter even make it to 1800 yards???



Inferior indeed.....bitch please....tell this PSU fan to keep whining about how they didn't get a title shot in 1994. Besides....had we'd beaten NEB....COLORADO would have been playing Miami in the Orange Bowl. PSU STILL wouldn't have had a case...



Damn Hippies.....

11. Overrated. In terms of final poll position versus pre-season poll position, Michigan has been the most overrated team in the country over the last 10 years. Which is why in 1997 Michigan could get a piece of the NC, and why in 1994 we couldn't.







WHAT DA FUCK WHAT DA FUCK WHAT DA FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





You would think this fan KNOWS that his arch rival was (and still is) voted as the #1 MOST OVERRATED TEAM OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!! (Michigan State). Besides....if Penn State is the team that keeps getting beat by those "overrated" Michigan team....doesn't that make Penn State look WORSE than they already are?????? Give me a break!!!!!!



What did yall Wolverine fans do to tramatize this fan into writing this Saint???? I "gotsta kno".....(did that to piss off hippies)





I tried to stop reading Saint.....but like you said....this shit is hilarious.





Oh....and I'm glad Ron isn't here to see #6 on his list......lol

Amy wrote:

Best offense ever in 1994.



Whatever this guy's smoking... well, it's the good shit.

It's da Hippie Shit I tell ya!!!!!!!!!!

Marathon Man wrote:

31 and 86 were pretty funny.

31 is what I meant not 33.

Black and Gold Ninja wrote:

11. Overrated. In terms of final poll position versus pre-season poll position, Michigan has been the most overrated team in the country over the last 10 years. Which is why in 1997 Michigan could get a piece of the NC, and why in 1994 we couldn't.







WHAT DA FUCK WHAT DA FUCK WHAT DA FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





You would think this fan KNOWS that his arch rival was (and still is) voted as the #1 MOST OVERRATED TEAM OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!! (Michigan State). Besides....if Penn State is the team that keeps getting beat by those "overrated" Michigan team....doesn't that make Penn State look WORSE than they already are?????? Give me a break!!!!!!



What did yall Wolverine fans do to tramatize this fan into writing this Saint???? I "gotsta kno".....(did that to piss off hippies)





I tried to stop reading Saint.....but like you said....this shit is hilarious.





Oh....and I'm glad Ron isn't here to see #6 on his list......lol

8 Straight and counting has something to do with it I believe.

31 was hilarious! I'll give it to them on that one.



However... PSU has no room to talk, as ND did beat the holy shit out of them last year. I'm sure they'll be looking to get even this coming year, but that's to be decided. Until then... ND kicked their sorry ass. =D



Oh, and just to add another thing: I personally fucking hate UM basketball. Being the UK fan that I am, it pisses me off that much more knowing just how much that program cheated, as they were the ones that knocked off Kentucky in the Final Four that year. Had UM not been a cheating shithole, UK might have gone on to win that game, and challenged for the NC.

A2 is a hippie town. you go to a town like that you get ugly naked chicks playing guitars and ferns on tables.

Also Webber a pro throughout college? hell, he was a pro throughout high school. Ed Martin wasn't only a bigtime UM fan, he was a big Country Day fan. And UM didn't exactly get a slap on the wrist, they were barred from postseason play and the program has never recovered.

and if the drive to A2 takes you too close to Detroit you're doing it wrong. try jumping on US23 when you hit Toledo.

As for the Lloyd Carr diss, that's a Northern grad you're talking about there, buddy. you come after him, you come after me, and Tom Izzo, and the Atlanta Thrashers front office, and Starbucks!

Anna vvhen I'm in Michigan ... roll on maxk avv genanza ... svrf'z vp!

ColdCat wrote:

A2 is a hippie town. you go to a town like that you get ugly naked chicks playing guitars and ferns on tables.

Also Webber a pro throughout college? hell, he was a pro throughout high school. Ed Martin wasn't only a bigtime UM fan, he was a big Country Day fan. And UM didn't exactly get a slap on the wrist, they were barred from postseason play and the program has never recovered.

and if the drive to A2 takes you too close to Detroit you're doing it wrong. try jumping on US23 when you hit Toledo.

As for the Lloyd Carr diss, that's a Northern grad you're talking about there, buddy. you come after him, you come after me, and Tom Izzo, and the Atlanta Thrashers front office, and Starbucks!

the atlanta thrashers front office doesnt scare anyone