LIFE AT MYSPACE IS ABOUT...
Logging in every day to see who is so annoyed at me that they have deleted me from the friends list. Now, the number has dropped 1 or 2, and I have to figure out who no longer likes me.
Discovering that another supposed friend has undergone a religious conversion into a spam monster and is very excited to tell me that I just won a free ipod or a trip to Bermuda, but i already got plans for the weekend.
Noticing that that chick showed up on my space full dressed, and has since taken on being a cam girl, for America.
People who request to be my friend from a profile with 1 picture of a girl I have seen in 200 other profiles with a statement like "i like to sleep with complete strangers" and "click this link so I can send you a plane ticket to my apartment in New York where I am currently sprawled out naked on my bed waiting just for you" and when I get to the air port I find out there was no ticket waiting for me.
"Death Hate Rage Violent Orgasm" just released a new album called "I Killed My Parents To Impress Hookers" and I have been invited to purchase a copy at the retail price cause I am special.
Someone else just posted some scandalous though stimulating pics and has invited everyone over to flatter the Boot-ay O Hubba Hubba, with an invitation reading "Please tell me which of these picks I should post as default."
She seemed really cool until I found myself piled under mounds of imaginary ice cream and it becomes apparent that Roberta was probably once known as Robert. But it is my own fault for smoking light cigarets while listening to British Rock Music.
The second you click onto the profile, some annoying song comes blaring out your speakers, temporarily rendering you deaf as well a few sperm short of a family picnic. No, wait, that is my profile.
Profiles so loaded with media images and photos that it take almost 15 minutes to leave the page before you are informed that you need to download 12 plug ins just to leave a comment as your browser chokes and crashes your computer.
Return to that profile at your own risk, unless you own your own omega-powered home web server system that is supported 24/7 by a thousand meth addicted squirrels cranking hard time on a thousand little nordic tracks, watching Sweating To The Gerbils while wired to a very large generator. I think you can get these at Best Buy. I recommend tossing in the after care product support plan.
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Blessings,
Damon
