You
You used to be my everything
You used to be my all
You used to make my broken heart sing
The one to catch me when I fall
But you tricked me
You’re mad because it’s true
You made me never want to be
I broke because of you
You said one day I’d be your wife
You said it’d last forever
Now you don’t want me in your life
And I want to see you never
If you hear this
Wherever you are
Remember who this is
The one who’s soul you scarred.
You made me who I am today
You’re the reason for what I’m not
You made me who I am today
And believe me that says a lot
Please answer me why
You broke my heart in two
Now I’ll never again fly
And it’s all because of you
The Weight of the World
Aliah lay back on the pillow. Sleep usually came so easy to her. But not tonight. It’s as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders, and one wrong move could send it crashing on <myspace>top</myspace> of her. Maybe I’ll get a drink of water she thought she tossed her long slender legs over the edge of the twin canopy bed, and stepped noiselessly to the floor. She crept quietly to the bedroom door. CREAK!!! She held her breath. All was motionless and quiet. She slipped out and tiptoed down the hall. Every second she was sure she would make a noise and her pappi would call.
“Lia? Is that you? What are you doing up so late? Is there anything wrong?”
She could say nothing but he would know better. He had some kind of sixth sense or something. He could always tell when something wasn’t <myspace>right</myspace> with his little Rosebud. That was his nickname for her. Rosebud. She hated it.
Ouch!! She had gotten so lost in thought about what could happen she had forgot about the box that head arrived for her birthday from her abueala yesterday.
¨¨¨
The minutes later she climbed back into bed. She tried willing herself back to sleep but nothing was any help.
She remembered the first day she had seen Will. His deep brown eyes looking at her from his perch on her desk. She had dropped her books and he slipped off her desk, and knelt to help her pick them up. His stray bangs kept falling in his eyes; he would brush them away just to have them fall down again. All the rest of class she would glance over and catch him staring at her. She thought to herself why is he looking at me like that? Do I have something in my teeth or something? The fact that she was so oblivious to her astounding beauty made her even more beautiful. She was a perfect size four she was five foot five inches tall. She had hazel eyes that seemed to be able to look <myspace>right</myspace> though you, and see exactly what you were thinking. Her red lips seemed forever turned upwards always smiling. Her long brown hair had natural highlights that when the sun hit them just <myspace>right</myspace> it looked like her hair had been spun with the finest gold silk thread in the entire world. Her skin was the smoothest skin he had ever seen and was a beautiful olive toned color.
Her thoughts jumped to the time in acting class when pure ecstasy had over come him to the pit he was speechless when he found out that he was to play Romeo in the upcoming play and Aliah was to be his Juliet.
She shifted uncomfortably on her mattress that suddenly seemed too lumpy for her taste as she remembered the first time he kissed her, it had been so gentle and tentative. He had told her she was the most beautiful creature God had ever created. She had wanted to believe it so badly. She had needed to believe it then. Just as she had needed to believe it now.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Back to the problem at hand. Sleep. She concentrated and soon felt Dreams gentle hands guiding her into dreamland.
¨¨¨
“Aliah! Aliah!” her mother’s voice penetrated her dreamless sleep. She rolled over yawning. Not yet! No! She NEEDED more sleep. But she couldn’t very well tell her mother that. Because it would mean she would have to tell her mom why she was that upset. And she couldn’t do that.
“Aliah! Get up!”
She swung her legs over the edge of her bed, and walked over to the dresser mirror. UGH!!!! She looked like a wreck! She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair stuck up in every direction. That’s it! She thought I’ll put all my energy into looking gorgeous. That’ll take my mind off Will for sure.
She pulled on a pair of super tight white skinny jeans and a sky blue spaghetti strap t - shirt. The colors matched beautifully with her skin and made the blue flecks in her eyes stand out. She grabbed her make - up bag and headed over the vanity table in the hall.
She put on the palest blue eye shadow, mascara, and eyeliner. She grabbed the new red lipstick her mother gave and put that on as well. Last she fastened the diamond choker her pappi had gotten her for her sixteenth birthday around her neck. When she walked down the stairs a pair of snow white wedge sandals on her feet, her mother inhales sharply at how beautiful she looked.
“When did my little Rosebud grow to be such a beautiful flower?” her pappi asked with tears in his eyes.
“Pappi!” She protested “my name is Aliah! I hate it when you call me Rosebud!”
“Oh Lia! “her mother called as Aliah headed out the door. ’These came for you earlier” Her mother handed a bouquet of red roses.
The card read.
If you loved me…
You know I love you
©Will©
She quickly tore the card off and stuffed it in her pocket. “Will you put these in some water for me?” She called not waiting for an answer, and slammed the door behind her.
¨¨¨
She rummaged around her licker searching for her half finished History homework. “Who cares about the Boston Tea Party anyways?’ she muttered to herself. “ I don’t even like tea.’ She felt like there was someone watching her, but she willed herself not to look, just crossing it off to her paranoia from not sleeping and being stressed out.
“Did you miss me?’ a deep voice whispered in her ear. Aliah gasped as the stranger’s hands slid up Aliah’s back to rest on her shoulders. He pulled her closer and kissed her neck, then her cheek, then her lips, the each one of her eyelids and last the <myspace>top</myspace> of her head.
“Will!” she cried out pushing him away “you scared me!” her tone softened at the look of hut confusion on his face.
“Sorry” he muttered turning away
“Wait!’ she said wrapping arms around him, and resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry” she said into his shoulder. ‘I just didn’t get much sleep last night is all”
“It it anything I could help?’ he murmured playfully, spinning her around to kiss her again.
Just then the warning bell rang.
“Come on we’re going to be late for class/” she pointed out pulling away.
He held her even tighter. “Let’s get out of here’ he suggested ‘My car’s <myspace>right</myspace> outside.
“I can’t” she lied ‘ I um have a test in English”
‘No you don’t” he said suspiciously ‘We have the same English class remember?”
She hadn’t remembered. But he had won. What else could he say? She hated lying to him, but how else could she explain to him she just couldn’t make love to him. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But maybe he was <myspace>right</myspace>…
“Ok.” she reluctantly gave in. He slipped his arm around her waist and they walked towards the door.
When they stepped outside it had began to drizzle. See she told herself Even God thinks this is a bad idea. He’s crying over it. It began to pour, the rain stung her face and bare shoulders. Will pulled off his coat. His muscular arms were instantly soaked from the onslaught of rain. He scooped her up and ran for the car.
¨¨¨
Later on as they sipped coffee to warm themselves up in a n old cottage Will knew about her mind was racing. Ooh this is a terrible idea she thought to herself how am I ever going to get out of this? She shivered form the realization of what she had done. She had cut school! Will interrupted her thoughts by rubbing the small of her back and saying “I’ll have you warmed up in no time”
The thought of this statement somewhat startled her until he stood up and pulled a box of matches form his pocket. He strode over to the fireplace and lit the stack of kindling. When the bundle of sticks caught he tossed a few logs on it.
“Is that better?” he asked settling him down next to her and cuddling her close.
“Yea” she managed weakly. She stiffened as his hands traveled down her spine, He played with the hem of her t - shirt. Sliding it up a little further each time. He began to kiss her. But it was nothing like any kiss he had ever given to her in her life. This kiss was a needy kiss. A kiss she didn’t think she could fulfill.
He slipped her shirt over her head and she moaned f<myspace>right</myspace>fully. He pushed her on to the bed as he kissed her. His hands seemed to have a mind of their own. He slipped off her bra then began working on the button of her jeans.
When all of a sudden, he s<myspace>top</myspace>ped. Aliah felt a whirlwind of emotions, half of her was thanking God and the other half was wishing he’d touch her again. In the end her better judgment won and those mysterious feelings were buried.
“Are you on the pill?’ he asked cautiously
“No’ she said HA! This could be her chance. She could still get out of it! But what if he had a condom?
“I think I might have one in my car” he announced hopefully
“A birth control pill?” she asked confused
“No! Of course not! A condom/’ he said rolling his eyes in mock sarcasm.
“I can’t!’ she said “it’s not that I don’t love you I just can’t have sex with you yet. I’m not ready for the responsibility. Please say you understand. Please@’ she pleaded
“When?’ he asked her.
“I don’t know.” she burst into tears “I’m just not ready yet. I want it to be with you@ I do@ just not ye’
He kissed her softly on the ear. “I understand’ he said as he walked over and stirred the embers. The newly created flames flickered on his face. Aliah reached down and picked up clothes as she began to dress. She loved that boy dearly. She wished she could that for him. But she couldn’t yet.
“Soon’ she whispered “Soon’
“What?’ he asked distractedly
She walked over and kissed him. She vowed to let what happens, happen. She loved him and loved her because he was willing to wait for her and when the time was fight she would know it. This was the man she wanted to marry. She knew that much
¨¨¨
Five years later she did just that. She married him. On her wedding night she told him “See it was worth the wait.” He just kissed her in reply.
“I’ve always known that.” he whispered as he stroked her hair. She slept contently that night, lying in his arms. Forever to be his wife, lover and soul mate. He was her husband, her lover and the best father anyone could have ever been.
