I hesitate to post anything to a board asking for constructive criticism, because it sounds like an artist searching for an ego masturbation; but I've recently cleaned up my previously obfuscate and confusing style and would like some creative input.
So, if you love it, shut the fuck up. If you hate it, then tell me why you hate it.
Someone Save Us From The Glass
There will be no more parkas and blankets for sleep.
There will be no trips to snow covered mountains.
There will be no stories told to grandchildren.
No more books, no more phone calls, no more entwined legs
as the past wraps around on itself,
it all ends here, before it ever began.
Sing a pretty song with a silver bullet
Shatter the true meaning behind the skull's hard focus
Unprotected warmth into the Siberian coldness.
Despise emptiness for what it is.
Fill it with your own body, warmth, flesh
Never enough input, never sufficient output
The body lies in flames.
Press the buttons and hope for the best
silver plated trigger mechanisms never fail
We pilot our destroyers into the ground
landfall and capsize on a moonless night
Shall we steal into the breathless lands
as headless sightless soundless thoughtless
lifeless beings?
What meaning is there for us to find here
in our tarpaper nicotine swarms sticking
to the glass we hold so worthless?
Nitrates take the heart and chlorates take the flame
To burn and rend and purify to no ends
perfection of destruction returning equilibrium.
Hold hopelessness in your hands, its pearlescent
mottled surfaces gleaming dully to take your drive
Swallow the quicksilver to slow the nerves
The pulse is to no benefit with no purpose in the chaos.
Soft yielding unthinking soulless machines
walk about day to day making idle conversation
eating, breathing, drinking, fucking, planning
to no ends to no means to nothing at all
not even false gods.
Someone save us from the glass we plead
there is no reply save the winter wind.
Requiem (Explanation For The Sightless)
Think of you thinking of me
Cast lots to cast out, out of my head
And out of my heart. I feel
A shift in the melody carrying me
Off to sleep, dreamless slumber,
Sleeping alone.
Think of me thinking of you
Twist and turn a soundless shattering
Memory. You hear
Cracking fracturing bunker walls
Burying me instantly, unyielding pressure
Buried alive.
Burst my cavities and carry my shell
To the church yard, ring the bell
To announce my presence, the presence
Of my shell.
Digging spades and turning dirt
Don't disturb the worms for me
Burn out my water in my coat and shirt
To the wind where I am free
Finally free
Grinding souls to measure weights
Sort my worth to place my fate
Attach me to the line to dry
In the morning wind.
Those I leave behind forget
Flowers fade and are not replaced
Burrow beings macerate my face
Ensure you reuse all of my carbon
For I am not a man of greed.
