this gut sees an ad in the paper for "talking dog, $20". Curious, he calls the guy and arranges to meet the dog. When he shows up at the guy's house he says"come on in, the dog's in the bedroom watching TV" He goes back to the bedroom and sure enough, there is this dog lying on the bed watching TV. The dog looks up and says "how's it goin'?" This gut is just flabbergasted by this and after a few seconds to compose himself, he asks "could you tell me a little about yourself?" The dog says"Sure, let me start at the beggining. As early as I can remember, I was in the military. Rumor had it that i was an Army experiment. I was used for recon missions during the first gulf war, and when that ended I was used mostly for training other K9's for search and rescue. After the Army, I still felt a need to help out, so I volunteered with the American Red Cross and helped to find people who were lost during tragedies. That went alright, but I needed to find a decent source of income. I found myself on Broadway trying to break in to the business. I got a few bit parts here and there, but no leading roles. I did a couple of commercials and had a small part in a movie. I know I wasn't the huge star I'd dreamed of being, but at least for the first time in my life, I was truly happy. About that time 911 happened, and being that I was a New Yorker and with my military training I knew what I had to do. I quit the stage and immediately began crawling around ground zero looking for survivors. It felt good to serve my country again, but this time I saw too much. It pretty much burned me out, so I retired here to Florida and now all I do is watch TV." Amazed by this story, the guy goes in to the front room and says to the dog's owner, "That dog is the most amazing animal I have ever seen in my life. Why on Earth would you be willing to sell him for $20?" The owner just looks up with this blank stare and says "Because he's a big fat liar!"
